Written for a "round-table-conference" in Oslo, October 1996. A two day conference arranged by Norwegian Transpersonal Assoc.
By Liv Evensen, inspired by my life's inner work through meditation, studies and "travel" through A Course in Miracles, where love lifts you high, which highlighted and brought about the transcendent understanding of MUCH. With LOVE.

FROM HEAVEN TO HELL AND BACK AGAIN.

(hope, very simply)

Near Death Experiences
golden, wonderful, life reviews and love
all encompassing
Light you meet
Light you are

No ones daughter, son, mom or dad
You just ARE
Of your size noone on Earth can tell
your body is just a shell
that will eventually decay

Your soul will not.

Inner giftrs flowering fully, freely
limits are broken as never before
You return with more than possibilities
to see, feel, think
with what you previously thought were psychic abilities
The quality of life's bag break
and our pours joy and full out fountain
to meet with each and everyone
as equals, deep and soully large
with love, no barriers,
not like before..

The near-death experience can also be something else
maybe you'll end up in a big, greeny slimy place
A negative one
may be experienced as boiling, plopping fear
time stands still
yet races ahead
a mental invention, time is
where beings taunt you and laugh harshly
trying to convince you that nothing is good
nothing good is for ever more
nothing good is real or eternal
One encounters ones own stores of fear
beraking open if you dare
and light is brought
the hoper, the seeker wanting naught
in hell to remain
This negative bardo is not permanent
is sad, unhappy, maybe burnt
and yet
deep within
are you
just as complete, smiling
maybe hiding
out of fear

This is also what it's like
with all the taunting, laughing monsters and trolls
from the other side.
This is the way fear may rampage.

Man with feet planted on Earth
Good and bad,
unreleaved
uncried tears
painfull and small

Feels mayhap endlessly large
feels perhaps hopelessly dumb

often it feels like this when we start
our inner trek towards the Light

For deep within we all know of a different flight

Some travel accompanied by a shaman
some travel with a psychotherapeut
some meditate
some work very hard
some read
some live a mythic life
some live a mystic's life

Some try alchohol and other substances

Common to all is the longing to the original ecstacy

But the journey goes inwards and out
If only out, one losse the substance
attempted substituted by the narcotic dance.

A Course in Miracles says it so beautifully:
The meaning of life is not to search for love outside your self,
to seek inwards and search for all the barriers that is holding in
the love you truly are

And in meeting with your brothers and sisters on Earth.

But this is nothing new
Thus wrote a lot of poets
writers, philosophers and religious mystics too
The art of painting abound with similar themes
Plato spoke of our inner recess
the cave
where we believe outselves save.
>From whom?
Ourselves?
The others?
For he whom some call God?

Dante wrote Commedy Divine
The travel through hell in company with his friend
Virgil, the Light
Somewhat before in time we find
the legends of the Holy Grail
in France and other places
the eternal inner fountain of youth
Hildegard von Bingen
spoke of her visions
and voices...

Shiva and Kali of the East
breaking down material barriers,
mental barriers of mental bonds
limiting thought patterns
so that fountains of love
might flow again
create
roll on
full of life, again..

Indian legends
the sun worshipped and prayed to
thought one had to make sacrifices too

Fairy tales that travel the world
existing in every culture,
myths and legens as well

Themes of fairy and dream interpretations
where anything may happen
where laws allows its wonder and
funtastic logics

Cannot be looked at from only the outside

one must live them
fine one's own inner essence
one's own inner truth

Acopalypse
judgement day
the end of the world
the lameing fear
the mental chains around your Self
that limit
revenge and sorrow
And before you loosen up all that

Maybe with the help of shamans
mayhap with the help of psychotherapy
perhaps with the means of meditation
happen to hapen in inner searches, inner journeys
perhaps with books
whichever way you choose

It's how it will turn out, what you believe...

Psychosis and schizophrenia
A view of humanity based on biology
I hate to say it, but they are so wrong
A human is no biological machine.

But maybe needed we humans a
narrower, commoner language
Maybe we all have unconcious memories
of religious wars
of fanatism and class struggles
We needed not more fighting
among ourselves. That as well.

As as long as humans thought of themselves
separate from their inner source
one aksed the other to be that which
you dared not be yourself
And the fight was on..

Psychologists
priests
psychiatrists as well
They cannot find the basic cause and cure
for psychosis
schizophrenia and the likes
'Cause they dare not open u
for a larger and deeper
perspectives

Without the fear.

Spiritual emergency, crisis, emergence
much have been written now
Ending up in the light too
same as an NDO
But first you are going through
the abyss
through the release
mayhap you are emptying out
centuries of tears
Images of culcanoes' roaring flames
dragons and devils
images and forms
tension and fear
exciting meetings if you want
if you dare
to meet "yourself"

The pattern is life, death and rebirth.

Not narrow theoretical framworks.

Joseph Campbell said it so well:
The journey through your underworld
ones own subsoncious terrain
is the hero and heroine's jpirmeus
for those who lost not his/her footsteps along the way

The schizophrenic and psychotic also swim
however loosing their balance
"drown"

It does not mean there is no hope for them.

These people need more than anything
that psychiatrists believe and know of them
something else
than emphasizing their own fear and terror.

There is a lot of misdiagnosis out there.

And yet, within
each and every one
is Life
to begin
the inner search for LIGHT

at times pouring out
stream of life
acute or
over times
bringing up feelings and themes
breaking ones usual patterns and frames
those same
ment to protect us
personally
nationally
internationally
from "without".

Bringing up themes that are mythological
in their substances
Themes of godlike personage
Voices to be heard
negative and positiv
inner monsters and heavy stuff

Fear of death
feelings of guilt
hidden agendas
hiding oneself
strong defences
voices and
"Where am I?"

This is the psychotic condition
the schizophrenic as well

In DSM-III-R
a system of diagnosis for this
not very sensitive for
religious issued
mythical figures
other cultures' figures
and the likes

Whose fear are we talking about?

I know now
that grandiouse idols
models
images
are based on fear
however
when a human is fully back to her or himself
we are GRAND.

forever within
no matter what.

All of us here tonight have had Light experiences. We have them from differing, but incredibly exciting "angles". Let me present...(an author and poet, a child- and adolescent psychiatrist, works wiht adolescents in psychosis, and zen-tradition-maoist, a gnostic mytholog and professor of art....

Liv


Inspired by my experiences with A Course in Miracles.
To everyone who have lost a son or a daughter or a loved one by their own hands:


And so I write these words
to you, my dearest friend
as were you my mother
as were I your son in spirit
I lend my voice:

"Dearest Mom
I am only a thought away
from you..

The bonds of love are so strong
between us.
I did not know
that I would arrive home
so that I may follow you
in your travels around,
to be with you
whenever you are spreading
your creativity over the country
dearest you - if only you
knew!
If only you knew
I am feeling so extremely well!

You were a great mom!
Wish with all my heart
the grief I brought
was undone.
Please forgive?

I love you.
You will always be my mom
whenever you spread love
around
the way I know
only you can
with goldenness and deep impressions
from all your experiences...
with start dust from the universe itself
as a glorious ring from your hand
mom
when your voice is vibrating
with the sound from all those places
you are carrying within-
that is when I am close
when the sun shines it's light on you
is when I am close
in the light from the rainbow of the moon
I am sending my love.

I know you are receiving
I can feel that
where I am
you are in my thoughts
always
listen to the stream's
mumbling accross the field
and you will hear
my love and gratitude
for knowing
we will never really separate again.

I did not make it
could not take the challenge of life
this time around
I know I will
next time

Now I know
I am created by the Light
I am like the Light
I AM Light
and Love

Now I know
I am never alone
surrounded as I am
by deepest harmony and
peace
oh mom - if you could believe
those words I am sending to you now!

I love you
always
thank you for all you gave
I know you love me as well
and
I have really always known...

Will end now
mom
when your tears fall from your eyes again
let them fall from a heart
opening up again
for the sun

I cannot die
listen, listen
to the deepest and innermost in you
and you will know
that I am close
dearest mome
I miss you

Good luck on Earth
till we meet again...

Love from your Son."



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